Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me
On a deeper subconscious level every time he withdraws during lovemaking, she feels he pulls out not only his dagger, but his energy, his love, his support. He does not choose her fully. He is not ready for whatever is to come.
August 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me
I was guided to rise a contraception question on social medial. This is a very triggering topic and many have different opinions. I will share mine, but I started with a question:
What is your way of contraception?
The options to choose from were: withdrawal / birth control / condoms / none of the above
My partner ticked on withdrawal and then I knew why I chose that question.
When I was writing this article, I was visiting family and we were practicing long distance relationship, I must admit, it was not easy, as lots of insecurities were brought to the surface, but that one was big. And I want to speak about it, because it is not just about us, it is about the distortion in the collective mind, and we need to learn how to educate ourselves on this topic.
I was put on birth control pills at the age of 20 due to the heavy periods pain. For 5 years.
For 5 years I was chemicalizing my body, allowing the toxic pharma to do the work on killing my libido and numbing my feelings.
I am not gonna go on the birth control harm in this text, on how it influences hormones and why it was created to "sterilize us" on the bigger picture, with all the side effects.
Today I just want to mention, that it was the time I first time in my life could relax in trusting my partner.
At that moment I was in long term loving relationship which lasted 5 years, we were exploring a lot, and everything was amazing except for the fact that before the birth control my eyes would burst into tears every time after the withdrawal.
For some reason in the culture where I lived, withdrawal was/is a thing. Most couples use it to prevent unwanted pregnancy and many feel it is ok / the only possible way. Some use condoms, but in "stable" relationship, condoms are usually not a thing.
Don't you trust me?
The culture around this topic is very messed up.
And I want to plant new seeds into the our consciousness, that things can be done differently and where the root cause of lots of other problems are.
There are multiple layers to this topic.
First of all, why are we so scared to have children?
This is a massive root chakra block, many of us are on a survival level having fears control our actions.
Children are the beauty of our life.
I have one child of 10 years old, my current partner also has the same age child.
I am in my late thirties, he is in his mid forties. We are not too young to have kids.
Are we stable enough? What does it actually mean to be stable enough?
When the child is on the way, nothing can stop it. Whether you practice withdrawal or not.
The child will also "prepare" the conditions his soul needs to experience for the lessons to be learnt. We cannot control it much.
Meaning if you have no house, there will be a place to live, things will be magically aligned for this to happen if it has to happen.
On the other hand, it is not so easy to conceive a child.
Many couples for decades are trying their best just to be disappointed. Why? Because of the lifestyle, chemicals, pollution, hormones, and many more. A baby can be conceived only on particular days of the feminine cycle - the fertile window - and with age the chances are less.
Many women are stuck in the thoughts - I can get pregnant from a kiss (I am exaggerating of course) and do not really get connected with the body to be able to witness this fertile window.
But there is absolutely no need to chemicalize the body. As you can watch on your app when that period of the cycle is to come. You can witness minor shifts in your energy, in your emotions, in your feelings, in how tired you get, in the discharge you get.
Moreover if a man gets understanding of what feminine cycle is about, he becomes a very powerful man.
Not only he can smoothen her triggers, he can hold her, he can ease up her stress, but he also understands her shifts and the beauty of them.
A woman need to explain that to her partner, yet if she is not aware herself - how can she educate him?
Divine Energy Embodiment starts with synchronization with the feminine cycle. When women connect to the bleed, love their journey, they become very empowered by feeling gratitude for their experiences.
But coming back to withdrawal.
In this world with relationships distortions, the anxious/avoidant dynamics was accepted as “good enough” and “better than nothing”. We were agreeing for less just for the sake of being coupled, we have this built in that we definitely need to find the one.
So on a deeper subconscious level every time he withdraws during lovemaking, she feels he pulls out not only his dagger, but his energy, his love, his support. He does not choose her fully. He is not ready for whatever is to come.
How does she feel? She feels left behind. She feels he was very focused on his pleasure and just dropped her there.
He might be talking about risk and not being ready for whatever is to come. But in my opinion withdrawal is much worse than a tension of a condom.
But let’s look at it from the other side - what happens when he actually comes into her. Or even when he is able to touch her cervix, letting her relax and feel God through him.
The codes are being exchanged, the energy fields merge, the toruses merge as one and get amplified. When you are a pure vessel of creation, you get exposed to a very special level of consciousness just through lovemaking. This is a place where a field of pure potentiality opens up. If into that orgasmic frequency you bring intention for the good of all, everything is possible.
But if he just cuts - he cuts the beauty of the moment. She is not able to bless the mutual creation. And everything that was there before is devalued.
Ask your woman how she feels? Women, what do you think? I want to know, if it is only me or if it is the collective. And what we can do about it?
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Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
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Healing Father Wound
Most women have this or that type of father wounds. For some father was just not available physically or emotionally, for others some sort of abuse was there.
Most women have this or that type of father wounds.
For some father was just not available physically or emotionally.
For others some sort of abuse was there.
March 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
All of us sooner or later need to address the core issue, the wound deeply rooted in our psyche.
The problem is, that because of the fact that our emotions were not validated in the early childhood, we created subconscious belief, which is playing out in our life and controlling our experiences in a way, for us to be able to address the core.
Most of the time it is a karmic experience, meaning we agreed, we would have it, for us to remember.
What I mean by this, is that maybe your father hurt you physically or emotionally, you kept it within your heart and then you started attracting the experiences, which would remind you of that, for you to be able to re-experience that and remove the density and infuse yourself with different feelings.
The experience you had might be severe, but might be very subtle also. You might not remember about it at all, until you start going deeper.
We need to go back into the childhood trauma for us to rewrite the story, we (or other family members) told ourselves.
For example, your father was not physically there. Your psyche created a pattern bringing you to anxious-avoidant relationship all the time, as your subconscious beliefs were - to love is to suffer.
Or you were talked off for a very minor thing and instead of really expressing your emotions, you suppressed them, created a throat chakra block and built up a pattern that men are unsafe.
I am writing this not only for women, but for men also, as you might want to learn how to hold space for your partner’s healing. It is not your job to heal them though, they have to be willing to do that themselves.
I have recently unlocked a story from my childhood memories, where my mother found my unsent paper letter to my not very close friend and asked my father to talk to me about what they read there. I was completely disarmed by the fact that they did that. When my father was talking me off, I suppressed all the emotions, but I was deeply hurt. I locked it within my body.
When I started doing the inner work around the father wound, I was exploring my relationship with my dad and I remembered that story. The moment I went deeper into it, I suddenly started having enormous physical pain in my stomach, as if I couldn’t digest something. The pain was so strong, I couldn’t breath. That was the moment I realized that I created a pattern within myself that men are not safe.
It was playing out in my relationship my whole life. I needed deep emotional safety, which I was searching for outside, prior to being able to truly open up for my partner.
This story can be re-written.
Our parents most likely had absolutely no intention to hurt us. They were doing their best, they were not taught how to love. They were deeply wounded themselves.
It is our own forgiveness, understanding and compassion that can heal us and them as well.
Register for a FREE Synergy Discovery Call to inquire about next healing steps you can take
If you feel ready to can listen to the Light Language transmission below to address the father wound and the abandonment trauma, which was playing out in your life as a result.
Light Language is a healing modality which works directly with the subconscious mind, your mind might want the control and want to understand what the meaning of the sounds is, but it is simply the frequency transmission, intended to heal the the deep wounding. You might have some body sensations, it is ok, please surrender to the experience.
Reach out if you need support or have any questions
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Sacred Level Attack
Romantic relationships are most of us sooner or later come across in our lives, have dreams, wishes and hopes about and experience trauma in.
Romantic relationships are most of us sooner or later come across in our lives, have dreams, wishes and hopes about and experience trauma in
November 2022, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
They are a fertile ground for transformation, if we decide so, but if we are unconscious or too much in the ego, they are the place which will shaken us up and either help us understand our true values and open our hearts even wider no matter what, or will shut them down under the pile of layers of who we project we should be instead of all this.
Disappointment is a part of the experience, false expectations as well.
It happens so that all the romantic relationships most likely copy our childhood trauma - for example abandonment trauma. Our insecurities show up sooner or later and we have to address them. It’s just like with stress, we cannot avoid it, but how we handle it - this is an art we have to learn.
If we are conscious enough to watch our own feelings and the fire which arises as a respond. If we are learning how to strengthen our nervous system not in the moment of trigger, but during the inner work, during the meditation, breathwork or any other practices, we are exploring the mechanics how our psyche works. And then we have a chance of responding rather than reacting. The other thing is we are also learning how to hold space for the other. For our partners, loved ones, family member etc.
Sacred energy center is the place that holds sexual, but also creative and healing energy. It is the place we often get attacks on because emotional intelligence also resigns here.
Zoom out from the trauma and look at the mechanics of the matrix system. The energy beings are trying to find a way to manipulate us. They cannot manipulate our heart, if we are fully connected, but they can put some thoughts into our minds.
Now look at the relationship turmoil: your ego gets triggered and you start having constant thoughts. These are artificial thought-bugs, mind-control mechanisms, which are used to disconnect you from your heart.
Whenever that is happening, ask yourself, are these truly my thoughts?
Reach out to work deeper on your trauma and multidimensional swords & thorns.
Return to the Heart through your meditation.
Allow yourself to bloom.
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Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.
Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all
Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats
I Rejected Several Most Amazing Lovers of My Life
Shadow aspect of desires has always been present for me.
Shadow aspect of desires has always been present for me
April 2022, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
I made poor choices in life, agreed for something out of craving and stayed in relationship for too long or even ignored the red flags to begin with.
I was there. I know how it feels with every cell of my being.
When I was younger, I had thoughts and feelings that if I was born as a man, my life would be much easier. I would not need to entertain the anxiety of the mind agonising on the topic of ‘he loves me, he loves me not’, instead I would just fuck everything around me.
Uhhhh
Slut-shaming is a huge part of our culture and suppressed sexuality is a result of it.
It is very hard to find a balance between being a good girl and desire of being bent over and fucked really hard.
I do not need to interview multiple men to come to a conclusion that there is nothing a man wants more than a woman who would be dripping with desire for him and would be liberated and expressing her seductive nature and pumping up his masculinity by just being her.
And for sure being with a woman who knows what she wants is a gift and a push beyond your limits also.
A couple of years ago when I had a chance to come across sacred sexuality, I was so shocked when I realized that there is so much more there for me.
I was self-pleasuring since early teens, although it was connected with lots of guilt and shame as well as I was always fantasizing of a fantom Mr.X coming and being naughty with me. In my mind it was always connected with HIM. I thought I would have multiple (or even any) orgasms when I find the right one. And although inside I was really happy to be me, outside the situation did not develop the way I wanted it to.
There were no right partners I would agree to make love with, or when there were, the way it all played out, made me feel really depleted and disappointed. I thought I had to love sex, but all I did in uni ages was bit my lip and allow my partner to cum as fast as he could so that he would let me go and be busy with my life.
At some point my partner gave me vibrators as a gift. OMG I had no idea I could feel so much. I stayed there for a long time. Multiple years of self-pleasuring and lesbian porn were there for me. I was disgusted by mens penises displayed in porn. Lesbian movies were much more sensual for me. I started imagining me making love with women, and when the time came and it all started playing out in the reality, it was lots of fun, but not for long.
When I was with women, I loved dominating in my masculine energy, although my submissive nature needed me to be with a dominating male partner.
And then a good girl’s time came, I took away all my toys and got married. I was rather happy in my marriage, entertaining myself with a vibrator when I had a chance.
You know when a woman gets addicted to a vibrator, she can’t really cum in an intercourse, and with time obviously she loses interest.
Look at this vibrators industry: cum in 3 seconds, 500 types of rotation to make you cum faster and stuff like that, all those lubes to push that piece of plastic inside of your sacred temple without any preparation. And women agree for that, as they know nothing better.
How many women were diagnosed with ovaries disfunction feeling guilty for their lack of interest in sex, as they held so much pain, insult and shame from their partners which was manifested in tension in their ovaries and womb, without any ability to release it, going from one doctor to another and trying to cover up their dissatisfaction with the temporary solution in a form of pills.
A couple of years ago I bought myself a gift: a crystal yoni egg. I started exploring, how it can be helpful for my body, how pelvic floor muscles can influence my pleasure, how it can be healing. There was a lover who showed me the watery ability of my g-spot. And for some time I thought that my pleasure is locked on him, and when we separated I was devastated.
Apparently, at the same time I lost my other yoni toys in my own house, they literally fell down under my mattress and I couldn’t find them for a couple of months. As I had no other choice and I needed my pleasure badly, I started exploring my own body.
After that I enrolled in sacred sexuality programs and started going deep with myself. I discovered how much tension from not being held by my past lovers my body had. I went into a shamanic celibacy journey to learn how to circulate that energy within me, I learnt what it really means for me to have full body orgasm and a pleasure plato, and how to use that energy for creativity.
And after all that I realized that my pleasure does not depend on a partner, although it does depend on how relaxed I am and whether or not I feel safe with this particular person.
My boundaries were crossed multiple times in my life starting with sexual harassment at work and finalizing with impatient lovers, who couldn’t care less if my yoni was ready to let them in or not. I faced lovers who would shame me for being me, meaning I had lots of experience with multiple people, but in fact I just learnt who I am and what I want.
With all that being said I want to emphasise that my pleasure belongs to me. My body tension appears when I agree for less. My dissatisfaction arises when I search for outside validation.
Everything I need is already within me. The reason I want to come in contact with a partner is because I want to be dripping with desire and I want to have that magnificent energy exchange while being received where I am.
I like going very deep.
I like the moments when the time stops and nothing else exists. I like feeling appreciated and nourished. I like giving pleasure and riding the waves of love.
When we come into bedroom, we exchange all the ancestors’ trauma, programs, and pain both of us hold. We need to be very selective on the motives we choose to come into the intercourse with.
Porn taught us how to disconnect lower chakras from the heart, but when we pass the solar plexus and go to the heart and higher chakras while making love, the love bubble is so powerful that is can create realities, it is a psychedelic experience without drugs.
This is what we want. This is what love is about. This is why celibacy is needed to return to a default and to learn about yourself.
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Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.
Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all
Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats
Dark Masculine
Feminine is always challenging Masculine. Just by it's presence, by it's receptivity and authenticity.
Feminine is always challenging Masculine
Just by it's presence, by it's receptivity and authenticity
September 2021, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
Feminine is always challenging Masculine. Just by it's presence, by it's receptivity and authenticity.
When dark masculine faces awakened woman, he has no idea what he is about to deal with. He has no idea how his reality will be shaken for him to face the shadows and the depth of his own presence.
When divine feminine is hurt and yearns, moans, sobs and screams from the pain caused by dark masculine not able to have the capacity of meeting her in the depth she cries so loudly, the mountain peaks get shaken. When her dark goddess is out he has no other way but to see that there is something wrong in the way he has treated her.
And that is a point of growth for sure, it is just not possible to hide behind those shadows any longer.
When dark masculine penetrates divine feminine, his shadows are brought up to the surface for him to be able to step into his power and embrace his potential.
But often the dark masculine has no idea what is going on, he does not understand why what he has done is not appropriate, why this attitude toward feminine needs to be changed, why he is constantly running in circles trying to find that "special one" his soul seeks connection with, with no results.
We are all here for the experience. For the experience of divine presence and loving kindness which is not limited to the close connections of ours but expands to all the beings and the Mother Nature.
Divine Feminine as the embodiment of Mother Nature, as the loving kindness, as the cyclic being, will always challenge the masculine.
If the Feminine is not awakened, not attuned to her own cycles, does not embrace her own shadows, does not have the emotional intelligence to understand the depth of her own triggers and reactions, she will always be attracted to the dark masculine. The relationship will always be "almost over" at the time of her moon, as she will see clearly that she is not being held by the masculine when she needs that the most. Consciously or unconsciously she will see the depth and be triggered. And she will project that onto the outside world.
Embracing the shadows within the relationship is an amazing opportunity of evolving together as a couple and collectively as humanity.
We all grew up in society, where it was not appropriate to speak to the masculine about the feminine cycles, the women were accused of being too emotional, irrational and "too much". But that is our power and not the shadow at all. We have that wisdom inside of us, which brings light into darkness and allows the pain to be seen.
Our souls yearn the deep connections, intimacy and sincere communication. We want to be met in the depth, but often we are scared to open up. We, as women, are scared, that the masculine will accuse us of "wanting too much". But that is our power and in that is our healing wisdom, transformative and supportive force of evolution present in every cell of our being.
I truly want more women to connect to their own feminine power and to help men to awaken as a species. I truly want to see more divine feminine and divine masculine coming into sacred unions and healing each other, embracing the shadows, doing the inner work and stepping into our true potential by healing the world through ourselves with pure love.
Embrace your potential.
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Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.
Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all
Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats