In relationship we are making a choice every day until one day we don't

16 February 2024, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

In relationship we are making a choice every day, until one day we don’t

We are choosing if we want to be with this partner, if we are ready to do the work necessary, if we are choosing ourselves. We are checking with our body oracle to see if we are at peace, or if the body is tense. We are checking to see if we are chosen, seen, appreciated. We are checking if the triggered wound can be healed, or we need alone time for healing.

The choice is made every day.

We are choosing every day, as long as we can, as long as it feels right. As long as we have the capacity.

At some point you can feel, that something has died inside of you. The point of no return has come. And it is a matter of time and a bold move to be able to do it gracefully.

When we stop choosing the other one, the anxious mind starts running the show. Am I doing it right? What if not? What about all the love that we’ve shared? All the moments? All the experiences? What if the choice is wrong? What if I am making it up? What if there won’t be another one?

We often stay in the dysfunctional relationship for too long, trying to fix the broken pieces, trying to put together that what was never meant to be together. For the sake of status, hopes, dreams the choices were made, the intuition was neglected.

We are trying to find the solution, the reason, the explanation

But it is just the choice.

When the choice is no longer made, we start betraying ourselves.

17 December 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

I am betraying myself by being with you

I have made a decision to live with my heart’s guidance many years ago, to listen to it, to follow its calling. I allow my body to be my oracle, I witness tiny contractions. I chose to listen to it.

I chose to love you.
Yet I witness you are not fully there. Does it mean that I am not fully there too?

And it is not about the amount of time we spend together, it is about the energy.

I witness that we do not choose to walk the same direction, we do not have mutual plans.
And it is not about the time we need to take. It is about the leap of faith and the courage.

Are you courageous enough to admit you feel numb? Are you courageous enough to admit your body-oracle is saying something is off? Are you courageous enough to make a full stop and choose yourself.

Not to drag yourself to the way of the path you know but to take a leap of faith and to allow the body to guide you.

I teach people to trust their body and come to heart+mind coherence, yet me myself, am I neglecting the loud voice of my heart? My heart is bleeding.

Have I made a mistake again? Will I need to heal again? Where did I neglect myself? Why did I agree for less? Why can’t I settle here? What else do I need? Why am I always willing to deconstruct everything? Will it be painful? How much pain? Can we bargain?

I am no longer feeling scared or desperate.

I just know that no matter what I will choose me.

I want pure love, as I am the love itself. I deserve to have a full-body yes.
I deserve to be guided by my heart.

I trust my path guided by the Divine as it is the path of God and the Embodiment of LOVE.

I saw our union as sacred, it is scary to admit that the sand castles are being washed away by the waves of emotions, energy in motion.

The grief around even potential separation gives shivery cold chills or makes the heart space burn. How long will the healing take? Maybe there is a chance to fix everything? Can we at least try?

If we do, on the side of this try there will be different versions of the selves, meeting again from the zero point, from the void and getting to know the new versions of the selves. Those which were not here before, with different values, with different choices.

Will we still choose each other again? Or will we play the same game with the other partners?

Sacred Union

Everyone knows that a Sacred Union is a fertile ground for transformation.
But why is that so?

The thing is that being with someone involves a lot of inner work to be done, a lot of uncomfortable conversations, emotions and experiences. Yet the way you approach them depends on whether or not you are willing to grow together, whether or not you are able to open up to be seen raw, to be seen real, for who you truly are.

When we meet a karmic partner, chances are we have no time to think, we are so attracted without a chance to stay aside, but with a sacred union it is a bit different, I like calling it dharmic relationship.

They usually come later in life when people already have the experience and understanding, and the trauma they have encountered. Yet all of us had the trauma, all of us are somewhere on the scale of trauma, but the projections of those experiences onto the current moment are what is causing problems.

When it is unconscious and instead of taking the responsibility for the reaction, and responding rather than reacting, we destroy the village like that voracious dragon.

Although the dragon can also be a protector, a keeper, a saver.

Every time we are facing the triggering situation we are given a test to take a deep breathe and to see how this emotion, energy in motion, is traveling through our body, through our nervous system, where it lands.

I call it awareness point. It can be very tiny, just a second or a few. The stronger your nervous system becomes the easier it gets to witness before destroying the village.

We are to learn to speak our truth from our hearts not suppressing the emotions in the body, but speak heart to heart and listening beyond the triggers and this is what we get to practice in the sacred union, in the conscious relationship, where we are not fighting over who is right who is wrong, but we are choosing to grow together holding space for each other's growth.

Through LOVE

When we experience a broken heart it is a very resourceful situation

A broken heart gives us pain yes, but beyond this pain is the wisdom, the pure love. Although sometimes unconsciously we shut down our hearts as we have it imprinted in the subconscious mind thinking to love is to suffer. Yet, it does not need to be this way.

You can heal your broken heart and come into the wholeness.

Sometimes also through the depth of the experience we attune to a different frequency and there we meet other people, not the same we used to mingle and hang out with and it takes courage to open yourself up to new experiences.

Meditation Portal Library will help you harmonize

My Meditation Portal Library has a lot of meditations and transmissions that might be helpful for you stabilize, harmonize and see the situation clearly. The situation itself might be a projection of your childhood trauma playing out in it’s intensivity

If you need additional support
explore the offering available

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Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me

August 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me

I was guided to rise a contraception question on social medial. This is a very triggering topic and many have different opinions. I will share mine, but I started with a question:

What is your way of contraception?
The options to choose from were: withdrawal / birth control / condoms / none of the above

My partner ticked on withdrawal and then I knew why I chose that question.

When I was writing this article, I was visiting family and we were practicing long distance relationship, I must admit, it was not easy, as lots of insecurities were brought to the surface, but that one was big. And I want to speak about it, because it is not just about us, it is about the distortion in the collective mind, and we need to learn how to educate ourselves on this topic.

I was put on birth control pills at the age of 20 due to the heavy periods pain. For 5 years.

For 5 years I was chemicalizing my body, allowing the toxic pharma to do the work on killing my libido and numbing my feelings.

I am not gonna go on the birth control harm in this text, on how it influences hormones and why it was created to "sterilize us" on the bigger picture, with all the side effects.

Today I just want to mention, that it was the time I first time in my life could relax in trusting my partner.

At that moment I was in long term loving relationship which lasted 5 years, we were exploring a lot, and everything was amazing except for the fact that before the birth control my eyes would burst into tears every time after the withdrawal.

For some reason in the culture where I lived, withdrawal was/is a thing. Most couples use it to prevent unwanted pregnancy and many feel it is ok / the only possible way. Some use condoms, but in "stable" relationship, condoms are usually not a thing.

Don't you trust me?

The culture around this topic is very messed up.

And I want to plant new seeds into the our consciousness, that things can be done differently and where the root cause of lots of other problems are.

There are multiple layers to this topic.

First of all, why are we so scared to have children?

This is a massive root chakra block, many of us are on a survival level having fears control our actions.

Children are the beauty of our life.

I have one child of 10 years old, my current partner also has the same age child.

I am in my late thirties, he is in his mid forties. We are not too young to have kids.

Are we stable enough? What does it actually mean to be stable enough?

When the child is on the way, nothing can stop it. Whether you practice withdrawal or not.

The child will also "prepare" the conditions his soul needs to experience for the lessons to be learnt. We cannot control it much.

Meaning if you have no house, there will be a place to live, things will be magically aligned for this to happen if it has to happen.

On the other hand, it is not so easy to conceive a child.

Many couples for decades are trying their best just to be disappointed. Why? Because of the lifestyle, chemicals, pollution, hormones, and many more. A baby can be conceived only on particular days of the feminine cycle - the fertile window - and with age the chances are less.

Many women are stuck in the thoughts - I can get pregnant from a kiss (I am exaggerating of course) and do not really get connected with the body to be able to witness this fertile window.

But there is absolutely no need to chemicalize the body. As you can watch on your app when that period of the cycle is to come. You can witness minor shifts in your energy, in your emotions, in your feelings, in how tired you get, in the discharge you get.

Moreover if a man gets understanding of what feminine cycle is about, he becomes a very powerful man.

Not only he can smoothen her triggers, he can hold her, he can ease up her stress, but he also understands her shifts and the beauty of them.

A woman need to explain that to her partner, yet if she is not aware herself - how can she educate him?

Divine Energy Embodiment starts with synchronization with the feminine cycle. When women connect to the bleed, love their journey, they become very empowered by feeling gratitude for their experiences.

But coming back to withdrawal.

In this world with relationships distortions, the anxious/avoidant dynamics was accepted as “good enough” and “better than nothing”. We were agreeing for less just for the sake of being coupled, we have this built in that we definitely need to find the one.

So on a deeper subconscious level every time he withdraws during lovemaking, she feels he pulls out not only his dagger, but his energy, his love, his support. He does not choose her fully. He is not ready for whatever is to come.

How does she feel? She feels left behind. She feels he was very focused on his pleasure and just dropped her there.

He might be talking about risk and not being ready for whatever is to come. But in my opinion withdrawal is much worse than a tension of a condom.

But let’s look at it from the other side - what happens when he actually comes into her. Or even when he is able to touch her cervix, letting her relax and feel God through him.

The codes are being exchanged, the energy fields merge, the toruses merge as one and get amplified. When you are a pure vessel of creation, you get exposed to a very special level of consciousness just through lovemaking. This is a place where a field of pure potentiality opens up. If into that orgasmic frequency you bring intention for the good of all, everything is possible.

But if he just cuts - he cuts the beauty of the moment. She is not able to bless the mutual creation. And everything that was there before is devalued.

Ask your woman how she feels? Women, what do you think? I want to know, if it is only me or if it is the collective. And what we can do about it?

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Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.

Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Come into Wholeness to Find Holiness

When a man touches her breasts, chances are her heart gets activated.
Yet for him - his sex is activated first. It is her job to bring him to the heart.

May 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

Many of us are scared of using proper boundaries because of the abandonment trauma . We are scared that if we say NO to something, we would be rejected… completely.. the love would be withdrawn from us.

And for that reason our boundaries are constantly crossed, ignored, or we do not even know how to place them to begin with.

It is especially valid for intimacy.

Do you truly know what is your YES and what is your NO? The line is very thin.

We, as women, need to be able to say our NO loudly enough. It is up to a woman to decide, whether she is ready or not.

A man who is able to deeply listen to a subtle whisper coming from the depth of her psyche is priceless. Everyone is able to push through, but it is not what we want.

That deeply nourishing space of gentle touch talks directly to the heart.

Feminine is emotional, if she tries to suppress it, she tries to wear masculine pants all the time.

But she can be scared of saying NO just to keep that man close, just to be coupled, just to be comfortable.

Even if she doesn’t fully want, or not fully ready.

We, as feminine, have been using our sexuality in such a wrong way.

Many people are disconnected from their true feelings. When they come into relationship they get into a huge illusion. It is a point where entities entertain themselves through our emotional roller coaster.

But we cannot communicate what we truly want if we do not fully understand it ourselves.

Connecting back to your body, connecting back to your true feelings and sensations, finding your true worth allows you to deeply understand what you want and you do not want.

If you have once tried slooooooow deeeeeep intimacy, where the time stops and the connection is faaaaaaar beyond the genitals, you no longer want “a quickie”, it just feels like junk food.

I am inviting you to explore what else is there.

Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

And of course, we need both energies within and without, but also we need to learn how to witness the shift.

My work is not just about empowering women, it is a misconception.

We all need to learn how to dance together in harmony to be able to create together for the good of all.

Women were suppressed and they jumped into masculine pants to prove that they are worthy.

Although it is not what the true love is about.

Women cannot be men, men cannot be women. We need both. In ability to listen deeply, to see the beauty and to join the dance with full devotion.

And it is not that “men are wrong, women are so amazing”, not at all.

Women have been using their sexuality as a powerful tool to bond with men, but often times it was a trauma bond, subconsciously of course.

Most women want to “be coupled”, while ignoring the red flags. It is easier for women to perceive reality through the open heart (her breasts are pointing out - it is a fact).

I am not claiming that everyone wants to be in relationship, but everyone has hopes, that one day….

When a man touches her breasts, chances are her heart gets activated, yet for him - his sex is activated first.

It is her job to bring him to the heart.

I mean, of course, if he is fully centered in the heart himself, awesome.
But often - NO.

It is her job within a couple to help him return HOME to his heart.
To be able to show up for her, to show up for his true values, to show up for the humanity.

Men get initiations from women.

The way a man makes love to a woman is reflected in the way he makes love to life.

What energy are you in?
Rushing, pushing, fuck&killing or nurturing, supporting, listening, protecting, providing?

Allow that bad boy and good boy to come together, we need you as a whole.

His relationship with the feminine is a reflection of his relationship with the nature itself.

Do not take me wrong, I am talking about a fully integrated feminine, for sure.
Everyone takes his own role on the healing journey of his / her own.

But the fully integrated feminine is the one who has managed to come into wholeness after integrating both the darkness and the light.

And she pierces through the bullshit.
She knows what is and is not the way to be held.
She knows how to stay in the heart and how to help him get there.

Most of the time men get numb, not allowing true feelings to overtake them.

Their guard is on, their heart is sealed. Their mind is controlling every step.

Chances are it is not for the good of all.

On the contrary is another extreme - he is very much in the feminine, very emotional, unpredictable, not a safe container.

Her nature is cyclic, she was made this way by nature. If he is not able to be that secure ground, strong pillar, she will be destroying everything around when she is not held.

And of course we need to do our work on our own but healthy relationship is a powerful place for an amazing transformation.

We were made to dance through this life together, supporting each other’s journey and using love as the guiding star.

Now for a moment think about those couples you were admiring.
Were they just lucky to “find the one”? Not at all.

They have probably done a lot of work (which is unseen for the outsider). Chances are they have come through emotional purification, learnt the skills of deep communication, addressed the trauma, the triggers and the projections and learnt how to see beyond the society bullshit.

It is not easy to be in relatiohsip. It is not easy to be seen for who you truly are. You might have been suppressing it even for yourself, it takes courage to shed the layers of the heart of who you no longer are too.

System Reset: Self-Paced Healing Journey

If you came through the emotional trauma of a hard break up, chances are you might want to go through a cleanse, an emotional purification. To clear up all the debris, to recalibrate, to heal, to remove all the projections and the expectation, to become a clear vessel of creation in the pure divinity, raw and authentic.

Knowing your true core values and being honest with yourself.

What do you truly want?
Why do you want to be in relationship?
Why do you want a family?
How does it make you feel to be coupled?
Do you feel limited or do you feel supported?

Maybe it is time to reset, to clear up the debris and to come into wholeness to be able to to find your holiness.

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Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.

Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Healing Father Wound

Most women have this or that type of father wounds.
For some father was just not available physically or emotionally.
For others some sort of abuse was there.

March 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

All of us sooner or later need to address the core issue, the wound deeply rooted in our psyche.

The problem is, that because of the fact that our emotions were not validated in the early childhood, we created subconscious belief, which is playing out in our life and controlling our experiences in a way, for us to be able to address the core.

Most of the time it is a karmic experience, meaning we agreed, we would have it, for us to remember.

What I mean by this, is that maybe your father hurt you physically or emotionally, you kept it within your heart and then you started attracting the experiences, which would remind you of that, for you to be able to re-experience that and remove the density and infuse yourself with different feelings.

The experience you had might be severe, but might be very subtle also. You might not remember about it at all, until you start going deeper.

We need to go back into the childhood trauma for us to rewrite the story, we (or other family members) told ourselves.

For example, your father was not physically there. Your psyche created a pattern bringing you to anxious-avoidant relationship all the time, as your subconscious beliefs were - to love is to suffer.

Or you were talked off for a very minor thing and instead of really expressing your emotions, you suppressed them, created a throat chakra block and built up a pattern that men are unsafe.

I am writing this not only for women, but for men also, as you might want to learn how to hold space for your partner’s healing. It is not your job to heal them though, they have to be willing to do that themselves.

I have recently unlocked a story from my childhood memories, where my mother found my unsent paper letter to my not very close friend and asked my father to talk to me about what they read there. I was completely disarmed by the fact that they did that. When my father was talking me off, I suppressed all the emotions, but I was deeply hurt. I locked it within my body.

When I started doing the inner work around the father wound, I was exploring my relationship with my dad and I remembered that story. The moment I went deeper into it, I suddenly started having enormous physical pain in my stomach, as if I couldn’t digest something. The pain was so strong, I couldn’t breath. That was the moment I realized that I created a pattern within myself that men are not safe.

It was playing out in my relationship my whole life. I needed deep emotional safety, which I was searching for outside, prior to being able to truly open up for my partner.

This story can be re-written.

Our parents most likely had absolutely no intention to hurt us. They were doing their best, they were not taught how to love. They were deeply wounded themselves.

It is our own forgiveness, understanding and compassion that can heal us and them as well.

Register for a FREE Synergy Discovery Call to inquire about next healing steps you can take

If you feel ready to can listen to the Light Language transmission below to address the father wound and the abandonment trauma, which was playing out in your life as a result.

Light Language is a healing modality which works directly with the subconscious mind, your mind might want the control and want to understand what the meaning of the sounds is, but it is simply the frequency transmission, intended to heal the the deep wounding. You might have some body sensations, it is ok, please surrender to the experience.

Reach out if you need support or have any questions

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Sacred Level Attack

Romantic relationships are most of us sooner or later come across in our lives, have dreams, wishes and hopes about and experience trauma in

November 2022, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

They are a fertile ground for transformation, if we decide so, but if we are unconscious or too much in the ego, they are the place which will shaken us up and either help us understand our true values and open our hearts even wider no matter what, or will shut them down under the pile of layers of who we project we should be instead of all this.

Disappointment is a part of the experience, false expectations as well.

It happens so that all the romantic relationships most likely copy our childhood trauma - for example abandonment trauma. Our insecurities show up sooner or later and we have to address them. It’s just like with stress, we cannot avoid it, but how we handle it - this is an art we have to learn.

If we are conscious enough to watch our own feelings and the fire which arises as a respond. If we are learning how to strengthen our nervous system not in the moment of trigger, but during the inner work, during the meditation, breathwork or any other practices, we are exploring the mechanics how our psyche works. And then we have a chance of responding rather than reacting. The other thing is we are also learning how to hold space for the other. For our partners, loved ones, family member etc.

Sacred energy center is the place that holds sexual, but also creative and healing energy. It is the place we often get attacks on because emotional intelligence also resigns here.

Zoom out from the trauma and look at the mechanics of the matrix system. The energy beings are trying to find a way to manipulate us. They cannot manipulate our heart, if we are fully connected, but they can put some thoughts into our minds.

Now look at the relationship turmoil: your ego gets triggered and you start having constant thoughts. These are artificial thought-bugs, mind-control mechanisms, which are used to disconnect you from your heart.

Whenever that is happening, ask yourself, are these truly my thoughts?

Reach out to work deeper on your trauma and multidimensional swords & thorns.
Return to the Heart through your meditation. 
Allow yourself to bloom.

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Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

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Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all

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Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats