In relationship we are making a choice every day until one day we don't
16 February 2024, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
In relationship we are making a choice every day, until one day we don’t
We are choosing if we want to be with this partner, if we are ready to do the work necessary, if we are choosing ourselves. We are checking with our body oracle to see if we are at peace, or if the body is tense. We are checking to see if we are chosen, seen, appreciated. We are checking if the triggered wound can be healed, or we need alone time for healing.
The choice is made every day.
We are choosing every day, as long as we can, as long as it feels right. As long as we have the capacity.
At some point you can feel, that something has died inside of you. The point of no return has come. And it is a matter of time and a bold move to be able to do it gracefully.
When we stop choosing the other one, the anxious mind starts running the show. Am I doing it right? What if not? What about all the love that we’ve shared? All the moments? All the experiences? What if the choice is wrong? What if I am making it up? What if there won’t be another one?
We often stay in the dysfunctional relationship for too long, trying to fix the broken pieces, trying to put together that what was never meant to be together. For the sake of status, hopes, dreams the choices were made, the intuition was neglected.
We are trying to find the solution, the reason, the explanation
But it is just the choice.
When the choice is no longer made, we start betraying ourselves.
17 December 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya
I am betraying myself by being with you
I have made a decision to live with my heart’s guidance many years ago, to listen to it, to follow its calling. I allow my body to be my oracle, I witness tiny contractions. I chose to listen to it.
I chose to love you.
Yet I witness you are not fully there. Does it mean that I am not fully there too?
And it is not about the amount of time we spend together, it is about the energy.
I witness that we do not choose to walk the same direction, we do not have mutual plans.
And it is not about the time we need to take. It is about the leap of faith and the courage.
Are you courageous enough to admit you feel numb? Are you courageous enough to admit your body-oracle is saying something is off? Are you courageous enough to make a full stop and choose yourself.
Not to drag yourself to the way of the path you know but to take a leap of faith and to allow the body to guide you.
I teach people to trust their body and come to heart+mind coherence, yet me myself, am I neglecting the loud voice of my heart? My heart is bleeding.
Have I made a mistake again? Will I need to heal again? Where did I neglect myself? Why did I agree for less? Why can’t I settle here? What else do I need? Why am I always willing to deconstruct everything? Will it be painful? How much pain? Can we bargain?
I am no longer feeling scared or desperate.
I just know that no matter what I will choose me.
I want pure love, as I am the love itself. I deserve to have a full-body yes.
I deserve to be guided by my heart.
I trust my path guided by the Divine as it is the path of God and the Embodiment of LOVE.
I saw our union as sacred, it is scary to admit that the sand castles are being washed away by the waves of emotions, energy in motion.
The grief around even potential separation gives shivery cold chills or makes the heart space burn. How long will the healing take? Maybe there is a chance to fix everything? Can we at least try?
If we do, on the side of this try there will be different versions of the selves, meeting again from the zero point, from the void and getting to know the new versions of the selves. Those which were not here before, with different values, with different choices.
Will we still choose each other again? Or will we play the same game with the other partners?
Sacred Union
Everyone knows that a Sacred Union is a fertile ground for transformation.
But why is that so?
The thing is that being with someone involves a lot of inner work to be done, a lot of uncomfortable conversations, emotions and experiences. Yet the way you approach them depends on whether or not you are willing to grow together, whether or not you are able to open up to be seen raw, to be seen real, for who you truly are.
When we meet a karmic partner, chances are we have no time to think, we are so attracted without a chance to stay aside, but with a sacred union it is a bit different, I like calling it dharmic relationship.
They usually come later in life when people already have the experience and understanding, and the trauma they have encountered. Yet all of us had the trauma, all of us are somewhere on the scale of trauma, but the projections of those experiences onto the current moment are what is causing problems.
When it is unconscious and instead of taking the responsibility for the reaction, and responding rather than reacting, we destroy the village like that voracious dragon.
Although the dragon can also be a protector, a keeper, a saver.
Every time we are facing the triggering situation we are given a test to take a deep breathe and to see how this emotion, energy in motion, is traveling through our body, through our nervous system, where it lands.
I call it awareness point. It can be very tiny, just a second or a few. The stronger your nervous system becomes the easier it gets to witness before destroying the village.
We are to learn to speak our truth from our hearts not suppressing the emotions in the body, but speak heart to heart and listening beyond the triggers and this is what we get to practice in the sacred union, in the conscious relationship, where we are not fighting over who is right who is wrong, but we are choosing to grow together holding space for each other's growth.
Through LOVE
When we experience a broken heart it is a very resourceful situation
A broken heart gives us pain yes, but beyond this pain is the wisdom, the pure love. Although sometimes unconsciously we shut down our hearts as we have it imprinted in the subconscious mind thinking to love is to suffer. Yet, it does not need to be this way.
You can heal your broken heart and come into the wholeness.
Sometimes also through the depth of the experience we attune to a different frequency and there we meet other people, not the same we used to mingle and hang out with and it takes courage to open yourself up to new experiences.
Meditation Portal Library will help you harmonize
My Meditation Portal Library has a lot of meditations and transmissions that might be helpful for you stabilize, harmonize and see the situation clearly. The situation itself might be a projection of your childhood trauma playing out in it’s intensivity
