In relationship we are making a choice every day until one day we don't

16 February 2024, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

In relationship we are making a choice every day, until one day we don’t

We are choosing if we want to be with this partner, if we are ready to do the work necessary, if we are choosing ourselves. We are checking with our body oracle to see if we are at peace, or if the body is tense. We are checking to see if we are chosen, seen, appreciated. We are checking if the triggered wound can be healed, or we need alone time for healing.

The choice is made every day.

We are choosing every day, as long as we can, as long as it feels right. As long as we have the capacity.

At some point you can feel, that something has died inside of you. The point of no return has come. And it is a matter of time and a bold move to be able to do it gracefully.

When we stop choosing the other one, the anxious mind starts running the show. Am I doing it right? What if not? What about all the love that we’ve shared? All the moments? All the experiences? What if the choice is wrong? What if I am making it up? What if there won’t be another one?

We often stay in the dysfunctional relationship for too long, trying to fix the broken pieces, trying to put together that what was never meant to be together. For the sake of status, hopes, dreams the choices were made, the intuition was neglected.

We are trying to find the solution, the reason, the explanation

But it is just the choice.

When the choice is no longer made, we start betraying ourselves.

17 December 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

I am betraying myself by being with you

I have made a decision to live with my heart’s guidance many years ago, to listen to it, to follow its calling. I allow my body to be my oracle, I witness tiny contractions. I chose to listen to it.

I chose to love you.
Yet I witness you are not fully there. Does it mean that I am not fully there too?

And it is not about the amount of time we spend together, it is about the energy.

I witness that we do not choose to walk the same direction, we do not have mutual plans.
And it is not about the time we need to take. It is about the leap of faith and the courage.

Are you courageous enough to admit you feel numb? Are you courageous enough to admit your body-oracle is saying something is off? Are you courageous enough to make a full stop and choose yourself.

Not to drag yourself to the way of the path you know but to take a leap of faith and to allow the body to guide you.

I teach people to trust their body and come to heart+mind coherence, yet me myself, am I neglecting the loud voice of my heart? My heart is bleeding.

Have I made a mistake again? Will I need to heal again? Where did I neglect myself? Why did I agree for less? Why can’t I settle here? What else do I need? Why am I always willing to deconstruct everything? Will it be painful? How much pain? Can we bargain?

I am no longer feeling scared or desperate.

I just know that no matter what I will choose me.

I want pure love, as I am the love itself. I deserve to have a full-body yes.
I deserve to be guided by my heart.

I trust my path guided by the Divine as it is the path of God and the Embodiment of LOVE.

I saw our union as sacred, it is scary to admit that the sand castles are being washed away by the waves of emotions, energy in motion.

The grief around even potential separation gives shivery cold chills or makes the heart space burn. How long will the healing take? Maybe there is a chance to fix everything? Can we at least try?

If we do, on the side of this try there will be different versions of the selves, meeting again from the zero point, from the void and getting to know the new versions of the selves. Those which were not here before, with different values, with different choices.

Will we still choose each other again? Or will we play the same game with the other partners?

Sacred Union

Everyone knows that a Sacred Union is a fertile ground for transformation.
But why is that so?

The thing is that being with someone involves a lot of inner work to be done, a lot of uncomfortable conversations, emotions and experiences. Yet the way you approach them depends on whether or not you are willing to grow together, whether or not you are able to open up to be seen raw, to be seen real, for who you truly are.

When we meet a karmic partner, chances are we have no time to think, we are so attracted without a chance to stay aside, but with a sacred union it is a bit different, I like calling it dharmic relationship.

They usually come later in life when people already have the experience and understanding, and the trauma they have encountered. Yet all of us had the trauma, all of us are somewhere on the scale of trauma, but the projections of those experiences onto the current moment are what is causing problems.

When it is unconscious and instead of taking the responsibility for the reaction, and responding rather than reacting, we destroy the village like that voracious dragon.

Although the dragon can also be a protector, a keeper, a saver.

Every time we are facing the triggering situation we are given a test to take a deep breathe and to see how this emotion, energy in motion, is traveling through our body, through our nervous system, where it lands.

I call it awareness point. It can be very tiny, just a second or a few. The stronger your nervous system becomes the easier it gets to witness before destroying the village.

We are to learn to speak our truth from our hearts not suppressing the emotions in the body, but speak heart to heart and listening beyond the triggers and this is what we get to practice in the sacred union, in the conscious relationship, where we are not fighting over who is right who is wrong, but we are choosing to grow together holding space for each other's growth.

Through LOVE

When we experience a broken heart it is a very resourceful situation

A broken heart gives us pain yes, but beyond this pain is the wisdom, the pure love. Although sometimes unconsciously we shut down our hearts as we have it imprinted in the subconscious mind thinking to love is to suffer. Yet, it does not need to be this way.

You can heal your broken heart and come into the wholeness.

Sometimes also through the depth of the experience we attune to a different frequency and there we meet other people, not the same we used to mingle and hang out with and it takes courage to open yourself up to new experiences.

Meditation Portal Library will help you harmonize

My Meditation Portal Library has a lot of meditations and transmissions that might be helpful for you stabilize, harmonize and see the situation clearly. The situation itself might be a projection of your childhood trauma playing out in it’s intensivity

If you need additional support
explore the offering available

You can sign up for
a 30 Mins FREE Synergy Discovery Call,
to see how I can hold your space for healing

Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me

August 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

Do Not Withdraw Your Love From Me

I was guided to rise a contraception question on social medial. This is a very triggering topic and many have different opinions. I will share mine, but I started with a question:

What is your way of contraception?
The options to choose from were: withdrawal / birth control / condoms / none of the above

My partner ticked on withdrawal and then I knew why I chose that question.

When I was writing this article, I was visiting family and we were practicing long distance relationship, I must admit, it was not easy, as lots of insecurities were brought to the surface, but that one was big. And I want to speak about it, because it is not just about us, it is about the distortion in the collective mind, and we need to learn how to educate ourselves on this topic.

I was put on birth control pills at the age of 20 due to the heavy periods pain. For 5 years.

For 5 years I was chemicalizing my body, allowing the toxic pharma to do the work on killing my libido and numbing my feelings.

I am not gonna go on the birth control harm in this text, on how it influences hormones and why it was created to "sterilize us" on the bigger picture, with all the side effects.

Today I just want to mention, that it was the time I first time in my life could relax in trusting my partner.

At that moment I was in long term loving relationship which lasted 5 years, we were exploring a lot, and everything was amazing except for the fact that before the birth control my eyes would burst into tears every time after the withdrawal.

For some reason in the culture where I lived, withdrawal was/is a thing. Most couples use it to prevent unwanted pregnancy and many feel it is ok / the only possible way. Some use condoms, but in "stable" relationship, condoms are usually not a thing.

Don't you trust me?

The culture around this topic is very messed up.

And I want to plant new seeds into the our consciousness, that things can be done differently and where the root cause of lots of other problems are.

There are multiple layers to this topic.

First of all, why are we so scared to have children?

This is a massive root chakra block, many of us are on a survival level having fears control our actions.

Children are the beauty of our life.

I have one child of 10 years old, my current partner also has the same age child.

I am in my late thirties, he is in his mid forties. We are not too young to have kids.

Are we stable enough? What does it actually mean to be stable enough?

When the child is on the way, nothing can stop it. Whether you practice withdrawal or not.

The child will also "prepare" the conditions his soul needs to experience for the lessons to be learnt. We cannot control it much.

Meaning if you have no house, there will be a place to live, things will be magically aligned for this to happen if it has to happen.

On the other hand, it is not so easy to conceive a child.

Many couples for decades are trying their best just to be disappointed. Why? Because of the lifestyle, chemicals, pollution, hormones, and many more. A baby can be conceived only on particular days of the feminine cycle - the fertile window - and with age the chances are less.

Many women are stuck in the thoughts - I can get pregnant from a kiss (I am exaggerating of course) and do not really get connected with the body to be able to witness this fertile window.

But there is absolutely no need to chemicalize the body. As you can watch on your app when that period of the cycle is to come. You can witness minor shifts in your energy, in your emotions, in your feelings, in how tired you get, in the discharge you get.

Moreover if a man gets understanding of what feminine cycle is about, he becomes a very powerful man.

Not only he can smoothen her triggers, he can hold her, he can ease up her stress, but he also understands her shifts and the beauty of them.

A woman need to explain that to her partner, yet if she is not aware herself - how can she educate him?

Divine Energy Embodiment starts with synchronization with the feminine cycle. When women connect to the bleed, love their journey, they become very empowered by feeling gratitude for their experiences.

But coming back to withdrawal.

In this world with relationships distortions, the anxious/avoidant dynamics was accepted as “good enough” and “better than nothing”. We were agreeing for less just for the sake of being coupled, we have this built in that we definitely need to find the one.

So on a deeper subconscious level every time he withdraws during lovemaking, she feels he pulls out not only his dagger, but his energy, his love, his support. He does not choose her fully. He is not ready for whatever is to come.

How does she feel? She feels left behind. She feels he was very focused on his pleasure and just dropped her there.

He might be talking about risk and not being ready for whatever is to come. But in my opinion withdrawal is much worse than a tension of a condom.

But let’s look at it from the other side - what happens when he actually comes into her. Or even when he is able to touch her cervix, letting her relax and feel God through him.

The codes are being exchanged, the energy fields merge, the toruses merge as one and get amplified. When you are a pure vessel of creation, you get exposed to a very special level of consciousness just through lovemaking. This is a place where a field of pure potentiality opens up. If into that orgasmic frequency you bring intention for the good of all, everything is possible.

But if he just cuts - he cuts the beauty of the moment. She is not able to bless the mutual creation. And everything that was there before is devalued.

Ask your woman how she feels? Women, what do you think? I want to know, if it is only me or if it is the collective. And what we can do about it?

RETURN TO THE READING LIST
JOIN THE EMAIL LIST TO BE NOTIFIED ABOUT NEW PUBLICATIONS AND EVENT INVITES

Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.

Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Come into Wholeness to Find Holiness

When a man touches her breasts, chances are her heart gets activated.
Yet for him - his sex is activated first. It is her job to bring him to the heart.

May 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

Many of us are scared of using proper boundaries because of the abandonment trauma . We are scared that if we say NO to something, we would be rejected… completely.. the love would be withdrawn from us.

And for that reason our boundaries are constantly crossed, ignored, or we do not even know how to place them to begin with.

It is especially valid for intimacy.

Do you truly know what is your YES and what is your NO? The line is very thin.

We, as women, need to be able to say our NO loudly enough. It is up to a woman to decide, whether she is ready or not.

A man who is able to deeply listen to a subtle whisper coming from the depth of her psyche is priceless. Everyone is able to push through, but it is not what we want.

That deeply nourishing space of gentle touch talks directly to the heart.

Feminine is emotional, if she tries to suppress it, she tries to wear masculine pants all the time.

But she can be scared of saying NO just to keep that man close, just to be coupled, just to be comfortable.

Even if she doesn’t fully want, or not fully ready.

We, as feminine, have been using our sexuality in such a wrong way.

Many people are disconnected from their true feelings. When they come into relationship they get into a huge illusion. It is a point where entities entertain themselves through our emotional roller coaster.

But we cannot communicate what we truly want if we do not fully understand it ourselves.

Connecting back to your body, connecting back to your true feelings and sensations, finding your true worth allows you to deeply understand what you want and you do not want.

If you have once tried slooooooow deeeeeep intimacy, where the time stops and the connection is faaaaaaar beyond the genitals, you no longer want “a quickie”, it just feels like junk food.

I am inviting you to explore what else is there.

Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

And of course, we need both energies within and without, but also we need to learn how to witness the shift.

My work is not just about empowering women, it is a misconception.

We all need to learn how to dance together in harmony to be able to create together for the good of all.

Women were suppressed and they jumped into masculine pants to prove that they are worthy.

Although it is not what the true love is about.

Women cannot be men, men cannot be women. We need both. In ability to listen deeply, to see the beauty and to join the dance with full devotion.

And it is not that “men are wrong, women are so amazing”, not at all.

Women have been using their sexuality as a powerful tool to bond with men, but often times it was a trauma bond, subconsciously of course.

Most women want to “be coupled”, while ignoring the red flags. It is easier for women to perceive reality through the open heart (her breasts are pointing out - it is a fact).

I am not claiming that everyone wants to be in relationship, but everyone has hopes, that one day….

When a man touches her breasts, chances are her heart gets activated, yet for him - his sex is activated first.

It is her job to bring him to the heart.

I mean, of course, if he is fully centered in the heart himself, awesome.
But often - NO.

It is her job within a couple to help him return HOME to his heart.
To be able to show up for her, to show up for his true values, to show up for the humanity.

Men get initiations from women.

The way a man makes love to a woman is reflected in the way he makes love to life.

What energy are you in?
Rushing, pushing, fuck&killing or nurturing, supporting, listening, protecting, providing?

Allow that bad boy and good boy to come together, we need you as a whole.

His relationship with the feminine is a reflection of his relationship with the nature itself.

Do not take me wrong, I am talking about a fully integrated feminine, for sure.
Everyone takes his own role on the healing journey of his / her own.

But the fully integrated feminine is the one who has managed to come into wholeness after integrating both the darkness and the light.

And she pierces through the bullshit.
She knows what is and is not the way to be held.
She knows how to stay in the heart and how to help him get there.

Most of the time men get numb, not allowing true feelings to overtake them.

Their guard is on, their heart is sealed. Their mind is controlling every step.

Chances are it is not for the good of all.

On the contrary is another extreme - he is very much in the feminine, very emotional, unpredictable, not a safe container.

Her nature is cyclic, she was made this way by nature. If he is not able to be that secure ground, strong pillar, she will be destroying everything around when she is not held.

And of course we need to do our work on our own but healthy relationship is a powerful place for an amazing transformation.

We were made to dance through this life together, supporting each other’s journey and using love as the guiding star.

Now for a moment think about those couples you were admiring.
Were they just lucky to “find the one”? Not at all.

They have probably done a lot of work (which is unseen for the outsider). Chances are they have come through emotional purification, learnt the skills of deep communication, addressed the trauma, the triggers and the projections and learnt how to see beyond the society bullshit.

It is not easy to be in relatiohsip. It is not easy to be seen for who you truly are. You might have been suppressing it even for yourself, it takes courage to shed the layers of the heart of who you no longer are too.

System Reset: Self-Paced Healing Journey

If you came through the emotional trauma of a hard break up, chances are you might want to go through a cleanse, an emotional purification. To clear up all the debris, to recalibrate, to heal, to remove all the projections and the expectation, to become a clear vessel of creation in the pure divinity, raw and authentic.

Knowing your true core values and being honest with yourself.

What do you truly want?
Why do you want to be in relationship?
Why do you want a family?
How does it make you feel to be coupled?
Do you feel limited or do you feel supported?

Maybe it is time to reset, to clear up the debris and to come into wholeness to be able to to find your holiness.

RETURN TO THE READING LIST
Join the Email List to be notified about new publications and event invites

Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.

Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Feminine is the Darkness

The reason feminine has been suppressed, oppressed, represses is because feminine power is scary, unknown, unseen, and yet tangible and untamable

April 2023, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

How can you control the fire, the water, the air, the earth. You can make an attempt, but why would you?

It’s not that women are better than men, it is more about balancing the energies and coming into the union with the two.

A weak man is scared of a woman, as she pierces through the bullshit, and makes him return to the heart.

She has the ability of opening the hearts, but what she transmits through those hearts, it is a question of her own purity and intentions.

Embracing the darkness is important. What has been hidden in the depth of the psyche? She will bring it to the surface, asking for justice, attention and love.

She will be pushing through in the masculine energy until she knows this is not the way.

She will resist resting in the feminine, until she burns out.

She will allow herself that, when there is no other way.

And that’s when a proper masculine will show up.

The masculine who sees her true value. Who knows what she adds up to the party. Who values and accepts her for what she is. But it is only possible, when she accepts herself fully, unapologetically, not agreeing for less.

Shadow work can take a while. But it is so important both for men and for women.

Whats has been unwelcomed and hidden in the debris of your subconscious mind?

As soon as you bring consciousness to the unconscious you bring light of awareness to your life and become able to accept yourself fully and as a result become confident in your true self-expression, you will become accepted by others and transform all spheres of your life by simply embodying both the light and the darkness.

You don’t have to play the duality game by being either in the darkness or in the light only, you have to learn how to find that proper balance dance of the two.

This is when you come into wholeness and this is how you understand the holiness.

But as we have both energies within, it is necessary to heal both of them also.

Sometimes it happens so that the masculine has a wounded feminine within, in that case he is either objectifying the women, not taking them seriously, not opening the heart fully, or suppresses them, judging them for who they are, devalues their thoughts and feelings.

The job of the woman is to bring him back to the heart, away from his reasoning mind and back to his feelings, which are his true nature.

He can still be smart, he can still achieve what he wants to achieve. But he learns how to feel, how to trust the intuition, how to understand his own emotions. And how to hold space for her, rather than pushing through.

Sometimes the polarity goes the other way, and when the woman is very much in the masculine energy, her male partner drops into the feminine, while becoming very soft, emotional and in a way unreliable. I’ve seen this a lot in the conscious community. When men start doing the work around the unhealthy masculinity, and then they go to another extreme.

We need to find the balance. We cannot be just one energy beings, as our energy shifts, through out the days, through out the months. We need to learn how to understand which energy you are at and where you are heading.

RETURN TO THE READING LIST
Join the Email List to be notified about news and events.

Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

---

Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all

---

Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Surrender to the Great Unknown

I love good sex, but I need to be held. It is much more than penetration.
I’ve gone very deep with myself over the last years

December 2021, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

I can tap into a different level of consciousness when I move sexual energy into the unknown, and I know how to take my partner there. But I need to surrender.
It is a very deep act of love...
That is what all women want.

Casual sex is no longer fun and no longer enough.

Have you ever been to the place where the time stops?

That moment of stillness like in a very deep spiritual act.

Where you surrender so much, that you no longer want to control anything. You just are.

Every woman wants to just be.

Every woman wants to show that moment of stillness to her partner. Through the eye-gazing, through being present, through the love you share.

The moment, where you can plant the seed of every dream, the quantum field of feelings and settle vibration.

If you pulse energy and move it through your chakras, the woman is able to share the Mother Earth energy that will support every creation, whether that is a baby or a project, but the creation will be divine.

If the woman is able to surrender to her king so that she no longer attempts to control anything, and the man is sensitive enough to feel her energy movement - the pulses she sends to him, when he is able to receive that and send it back to her with the penetrative force, she is taken to the divine. 

And as a Goddess she gives blessing to all the creation.

Co-creation.

She gets so inspired by his presence, that her creative energy overflows and things magically start happening around her.

And yes, for the weak man it might feel like too much. But if the man is a divine masculine embodiment, that is the blessing his soul has been yearning for ages.

RETURN TO THE READING LIST
Join the Email List to be notified about new publications and event invites.

Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

---

Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all

---

Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats

Dark Masculine

Feminine is always challenging Masculine
Just by it's presence, by it's receptivity and authenticity

September 2021, by Viktoria Kshevinskaya

Feminine is always challenging Masculine. Just by it's presence, by it's receptivity and authenticity.

When dark masculine faces awakened woman, he has no idea what he is about to deal with. He has no idea how his reality will be shaken for him to face the shadows and the depth of his own presence. 

When divine feminine is hurt and yearns, moans, sobs and screams from the pain caused by dark masculine not able to have the capacity of meeting her in the depth she cries so loudly, the mountain peaks get shaken. When her dark goddess is out he has no other way but to see that there is something wrong in the way he has treated her. 

And that is a point of growth for sure, it is just not possible to hide behind those shadows any longer. 

When dark masculine penetrates divine feminine, his shadows are brought up to the surface for him to be able to step into his power and embrace his potential. 

But often the dark masculine has no idea what is going on, he does not understand why what he has done is not appropriate, why this attitude toward feminine needs to be changed, why he is constantly running in circles trying to find that "special one" his soul seeks connection with, with no results. 

We are all here for the experience. For the experience of divine presence and loving kindness which is not limited to the close connections of ours but expands to all the beings and the Mother Nature. 

Divine Feminine as the embodiment of Mother Nature, as the loving kindness, as the cyclic being, will always challenge the masculine. 

If the Feminine is not awakened, not attuned to her own cycles, does not embrace her own shadows, does not have the emotional intelligence to understand the depth of her own triggers and reactions, she will always be attracted to the dark masculine. The relationship will always be "almost over" at the time of her moon, as she will see clearly that she is not being held by the masculine when she needs that the most. Consciously or unconsciously she will see the depth and be triggered. And she will project that onto the outside world.

Embracing the shadows within the relationship is an amazing opportunity of evolving together as a couple and collectively as humanity. 

We all grew up in society, where it was not appropriate to speak to the masculine about the feminine cycles, the women were accused of being too emotional, irrational and "too much". But that is our power and not the shadow at all. We have that wisdom inside of us, which brings light into darkness and allows the pain to be seen.

Our souls yearn the deep connections, intimacy and sincere communication. We want to be met in the depth, but often we are scared to open up. We, as women, are scared, that the masculine will accuse us of "wanting too much". But that is our power and in that is our healing wisdom, transformative and supportive force of evolution present in every cell of our being. 

I truly want more women to connect to their own feminine power and to help men to awaken as a species. I truly want to see more divine feminine and divine masculine coming into sacred unions and healing each other, embracing the shadows, doing the inner work and stepping into our true potential by healing the world through ourselves with pure love. 

Embrace your potential.

Return to the reading list
Join the Email List to be notified about new publications and event invites.

Sacred Sexuality Workshop Replay
This is a beautiful opportunity to know how to reconnect with your body and how to set up proper template within yourself.

---

Golden Dagger
Balance of Masculine and Feminine Audio Transmission/Meditation and light code for your devices to remind you and to recalibrate your subconscious mind for the good of all

---

Divine Energy Embodiment Sessions are in person 1-on-1 or group events available both for men and women to clear up the stagnant energies, to step into the body, to remove the obstacles, to reactivate the feelings, to return into the heart and to open up for deeper intimacy, better communication, loving and supportive relationship.
Available upon request online/offline/on retreats